I'm a copy editor

Dear everyone,

You need periods. See, there’s one right there. And another. I have been seeing sentences without periods, like at the dentist’s office and on the Internet. And that is not good. YOU NEED PERIODS!

That wasn’t a period; that was an exclamation point. You can use an exclamation point instead of a period if you are yelling.

The other one is a question mark. You can use that if you are asking a question. Still, you can use it like a period. You put it at the end of your sentence. This is important. Otherwise, nobody knows when the sentence is over. They will go on to the next sentence and not understand. That would be a problem. It’s a big problem for me.

I almost forgot about commas. Like, if you want to say something, and you want to say something else but in a different way, you can use a comma. It makes the sentence easier to read. There’s two in that sentence. My mom put them there because she is very good at writing. She knows where the commas go.

And that is all I have to say.

From Michael

Watching the Address to Congress

Dear everyone,

I wanna be there and shake Obama’s hand. But he beated John McCain bad. It was like twice as many votes. Bad beat. Seriously bad beat. It was almost 200 votes. That’s my limit.

I like Barack Obama. He is cool. I wonder what he was doing when the last guy was the president.

It is just unfair that those girls get to sleep in the president’s house. They must have like a million guards. Mom says there has never been a girl president, but I would still probably vote for the boy. Unless the girl is more prettier. It’s all about their style.

Barack Obama said he wants people to go to university. Of course I am going to go. I guess that means that it will be against the law to kick people out of school.

It’s almost kind of rude, though, that only Americans can be president. So I basically can never be president. That is rude. What about Indians? Indians are nice. You should be able to move from Asia and get the best job. I could pretend I was an American so I could be president. But I probably would not get away with it.

Now there is some other guy talking. (TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: That would be Bobby Jindal.) Like, he said he wasn’t going to say any more, and then he kept talking. He needs cream for his forehead. I don’t want this guy to be president, because he doesn’t talk loud enough. He makes really long words, like way longer than “ketchup”. Words like “consequence” and “opportunity” and “responsibility”. And those are the three words he likes to say. (TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: HAHAHAHAHA.) I think he’s weird. I don’t know what he’s saying.

I want my mom to be president, or at least vice president. That way, I could live in that house.

From Michael

Why didn't my mom see this coming?

Dear everyone,

My mom says if there’s no tooth fairy, I don’t get money for my teeth. I want to get money, but I can’t believe it if it isn’t real.

Now I am thinking that maybe there is no such thing as angels. I think they might just be a story.

My mom says that my grampy has studied a lot and he is sure there are angels, but I think maybe he made a mistake. I think he might just think that because he is a church person. Church people might believe things that aren’t real. I like to go and watch church sometimes when my grampy is there, but I’m not a church person. I do like the bread at church. It would be good to have bread like that that was the size of my house. It would probably take me three days to eat it all.

If it isn’t real, I can’t believe in it. I can only believe in things that are real. Things like Cleopatra that are in books about real things. I know that Cleopatra was real. There are some books that are just stories and some books that are about things that are real.

Maybe angels aren’t real. I don’t know that for sure, but I don’t know how I would find out. I don’t think God needs guards. That doesn’t make sense. And I am pretty sure that angels are guards for God.

From Michael

Thanks, Uncle Matt and Aunt Sarah

On politics

The people that want to be president just want to be powerful, and that’s not right. You’re supposed to help your country, not be powerful and say YOU’RE FIRED to people every time they do something wrong and like demand stuff that your guards should do for you. If you do that, most of your people might go away to a different country. It’s not only about being powerful.

A concert

My mom has a movie that is a concert!

The story of a movie is called the plot. And this plot is about a girl who likes to be fancy, a boy who likes to play the guitar, and an old guy who plays the drums and looks like my poppy. And there is another guy who plays the drums but is not the best drummer in the world.

My grampy used to be in a band and play the guitar like the boy in the movie. But this boy can play his guitar just by hitting it! And I thought he was gonna smash his guitar but he didn’t.

I am going to talk to my music teacher so I can learn how to play an instrument and be in a band like the one in the movie. I think that would be good. My favourite guy is the drummer. I like to watch him play the drums. And I think he is the best drummer in the world even though the main movie is about the girl.

My mom says you have to practise for an hour every day to be in a band. That is a lot. But I think I would like it.

I think the girl is young. Not like the old guy who plays the drums. And I think the guy who plays guitar is old, too. The girl is young and she plays the tambourine. She likes to dress up in capes and dance around and it looks like she has wings.

Love, Michael

A political message

Dear everyone,

I hope John McCain doesn’t see this.

You should vote for Barack Obama. I watched the debate with my mom and he is better. And I just like him. Boo on John McCain. I think he might even be older than my grampy.

I called my grampy to tell him to vote for Barack Obama, but he was asleep, so I told my grammy to tell my grampy to vote for him. I really think he should be the president. I wish kids got to vote, because if we did, I would vote for Barack Obama. And did you know that he has two children? They are so lucky.

I told my grampy that I would go and visit him on Christmas if he votes for Barack Obama. That is even though I wanted to visit Daniel on Christmas.

I need to call more people and tell them to vote for him. Hang in there, Obama.